Ask the Dating Coach Blog

Adam Lyons Dating Advice

7 Ways to Be Instantly More Attractive

4 min read

It seems so unfair that society judges physical appearance based on the attributes of a very small percentage of the population. Why does their value increase so much, just because of the genetic lottery? While we can’t do much to change our bone structure, body shape, or ancestral traits, there are a few things that can help improve our overall appearance. Here are seven things you can do to become instantly more attractive, no matter what natural cards you’ve been dealt.

          The first three items on my list are purely physical improvements, number one being the absolute most important. GROOM YOURSELF. Take a shower regularly, manage your body odor, and brush your teeth. This seems like such a simple concept, but so many people miss the mark with grooming. You don’t have to be a supermodel to attract a mate, but you definitely need to smell nice. Try to play to all of the senses when considering what to do with this kind of maintenance. The sense of smell is a big one, so make sure you’re doing all you can to mask B.O. and bad breath.

          Another thing that a lot of people seem confused about is the impact that wearing clothes that fit can have. The cloth you wear on your back doesn’t need to be expensive or name-brand for you to be an attractive person, but it does help if it fits properly. If you find that your clothes are all too baggy, consider getting them tailored (it’s much more affordable than you would think!) Most dry-cleaning shops have a tailor on hand that will work for a fair price. If you find your clothes are too tight, and you’re bulging out of them, there are a few things you can do. Try to get back to the size you were when those clothes DID fit by exercising or changing your diet. If this isn’t an option, consider shopping for new clothes. Again, it doesn’t matter where they come from as long as they fit you well. You can even shop at a second hand store, and then get those clothes tailored to fit you exactly right. However you can manage it, try to make sure your clothing is fitted well to your specific body type.

          Next up, and this one is hard to say out loud… smile. I know, I know, it’s not something you’re supposed to tell people to do. But what I really mean is that you should attempt to have a friendly demeanor. No one is going to want to reach out to you or get to know you, if you are closed off and angry-looking. Your face is the first thing a person will notice about you, and looking amicable will make you instantly more approachable. It will also make you seem more open and available to connecting with another person. While you should never pretend to be happy and joyous when you are not, trying to keep a positive attitude as often as possible will make you much more inviting.

          The next on my list is kind of the transition between physical and mental attributes, because it applies to both categories. Whenever possible, you should showcase confidence. Physically, this means standing up straight, making direct eye contact with people, and not being timid in conversation. Internally, it means knowing your own value and refusing to put yourself down. We are all flawed and working on something within ourselves, so there is absolutely no reason to hate on your imperfections. Changing your line from, “I suck at this” or “‘I hate this about myself,” to, “I’m working on it,” can make a huge impact on your mental well being. You may not feel confident every day, but showcasing confidence in the areas in which you shine is a sure fire way to increase overall attractiveness.

          One of the most charming traits a person can have is kindness. I can’t even count how many people think the best way to be attractive is to put themselves above others. It isn’t. KINDNESS is sexy. Don’t put other people down or makes jokes at their expense. Offer to help people out when you can or when you’re needed. Listen to what people have to say. Kindness is simple and easy, and it’s a vitally important, though often overlooked, quality that people look for in a partner.

          Another commonly forgotten trait in dating is ambition. It is SO alluring when someone has dreams to be/build/create/experience something big. Many people think that you have to already be at the top to be considered a catch, but that isn’t true at all. You don’t have to already be somewhere, but you DO have to be heading there. Have a direction or a goal that you’re passionate about, and talk about it freely. It means that you aren’t a person who has settled into a dull life, and it means a potential partner has the opportunity to work on a future alongside you.

          Finally, it’s important that you be consistent in who you are. One of the most unattractive qualities a person can have is flakiness. Show up when you make plans with someone. Do the things you say you will. Follow through on your promises. People look for stability in long-term partners, and remaining consistent is a huge part of that.

          We may not be able to change everything about our natural magnetism, but that doesn’t mean we are helpless. Working on these seven things will instantly increase your attractiveness, no matter what you look like.

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