Whenever I meet a guy who tells me they’re struggling with women, I can almost guarantee that they’re doing one of the three following things. While there are several components that can attract a woman and keep her interested in a conversation, you have to stop doing these three things before you can even begin to work on your strategy.
If you feel like you’re pushing women away, it’s possible that you’re doing one of these three things.
You’re Talking and Not Listening
Are you talking instead of actually getting to know someone? Everyone appreciates a good listener and wants to be an active participant in a conversation when you’re getting to know one another.
Guys love to share stories about how great they are and put effort into really trying to impress somebody when they first meet them. However, there are so many different guys doing this same thing, and ultimately you’re just talking at the person, and not only are they getting bored with hearing another story from some other person they don’t really know or care about, they don’t really get into the one thing that humans truly care about more than anything: sharing their own stories.
Instead of talking at somebody, try to identify the kind of goals, aims, ambitions, and the type of future they’d like to achieve. To do that, you’ll need to have a conversation, ask questions, and listen to responses in turn.
These are all stories that they’re going to love to share and talk to you about and better yet, you’re now going to learn even more about them, which makes it easier to carry across conversation because the person you’re talking to is getting to share so much about themselves. They’re going to find that this is one of the most interesting conversations they’ve had. Instead of pushing somebody away because you’re talking at them, they’re going to find themselves wanting to talk to you more and more as they begin to share and want to share even further.
You’re Invading Her Personal Space
The second mistake many guys make is that they invade someone’s personal space when they first meet somebody, instead of allowing the woman to lean in and start chasing them.
A lot of the time, the guy wants to control the dynamic of the situation. He’ll physically break in someone’s personal space, maybe reach out and touch them without permission or worse, stick their face in the other person’s face as they breathe over the other person even though they’ve just met.
When I have my students speak to people, I ask them to try this instead. When you first get talking to somebody, try and maintain a distance of about four feet away from them so you never directly invade their personal space. You can still talk in a very regular volume, and if somebody finds what you’re saying interesting, you’ll notice they start to turn their head towards you and lean in so they can hear you better.
This act of them leaning in and breaking into your personal space actually makes them feel more comfortable around you because they’re the one that’s breaking the personal space barrier. The more they start to do this, the more they realize that they trust you in their personal space as well, and ultimately they start to open up even further to you with more conversation. Before you know it, they’re almost sitting right next to you and all the effort has come from them moving into your personal space instead of you invading theirs.
You’re Failing to Communicate Enough
This one tends to happen a bit later on in interactions, but men often fail to communicate enough. While most men will be more than happy to chew someone’s ear off and talk loads when they first meet somebody, guys tend to ease back on the conversation after multiple dates or interactions. It’s like they’re not trying to impress somebody anymore, so they don’t talk enough. This actually causes a woman to believe that you may not be interested in them.
One of the most fascinating instances is how women love when a guy texts them in the morning and the evening: one morning text message to see how somebody is doing, and one evening message just to say good night for the evening.
Guys, for some reason, don’t like doing this. And if you’ve just met somebody and you’re not willing to have these basic common courtesies and daily conversations with somebody, the woman’s going to read that as you being uninterested. She’ll start to create distance from the guy, leaving the guy confused and wondering what they did wrong.
Now, each of these three things are definitely things you should not do if you want success. But if you do want success with a woman, then there are three things I’d strongly recommend you do, and all three of these can be found inside the ACE Formula. If you’d like to learn more about the ACE Formula, click here. This site explains what the ACE Formula is and three things that you need to do to make yourself more attractive to women.