Ask the Dating Coach Blog

Adam Lyons Dating Advice

Dating Online: The Best Message To Stand Out On Dating Apps

3 min read

A big part of online dating is all about the conversations you have along the way. Getting from an on screen greeting to an offline date takes some finesse, and it all starts with sending the right introductory text message.

So you’ve matched with somebody on an online dating app, but what the hell are you going to text them? I’m going to give you a text message that makes you stand out from everybody else and gets them to want to reply to you. 

The Best Introductory Message for Online Dating Apps

You’re going to say:

How are unicorns fake, but giraffes are real? Seriously, what’s more believable: a horse with a horn or a leopard moose camel with a 40 foot neck?

Now this text message is completely different to anything that the average woman is going to see in an online dating app.

In fact, all of my friends who are beautiful women with online dating apps have a bunch of messages on them and it’s just like:



What’s up?

No one is starting with how are unicorns fake? So what’s brilliant about this is as they look through the shortened version of the messages, they’re going to see your message about unicorns amidst all the bland his and hellos. 

They’re going to click on it cause they’re going to think, what do you mean, how are unicorns fake? They click. And now they’re reading.

What’s beautiful about this is it brings up a pretty unique topic. If you think about it, yeah. Unicorns are far more believable than giraffes, right? Oh, a horse with a horn, like a rhino, like we’ve seen animals kind of like just a variant of another animal with a horn, but giraffes, there’s nothing like a giraffe anywhere.

Emotional Logic and Dating Apps

When you describe what’s more believable, it gets them in this emotional logic kind of pattern where they’re thinking about it. And then what’s beautiful about this is right at the very end, you add a very deep compliment. 

I like your smile. 

We’re not just saying I like you, which would be pretty bad because if I just said that, it’s not genuine because I don’t know much about her. 

If I said you’re beautiful, then I’m giving away too much power right at the beginning. I don’t want to do any of those, but I like 

Your smile is nice. 

It’s not over the top. It’s not I love your smile. You’re so pretty. Or the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Just, I like your smile.

What’s great about this is they’re going to read that message. They’re going to find it really endearing and funny. And then I’m giving them a compliment. They’re going to respond. And the best part about it is because of a little psychological trigger, known as reciprocity. 

If I give someone a compliment, the chance of them responding with a compliment is incredibly high. Once somebody trades a compliment with you, they are far more likely to actually want to meet up with you and go on a date. 

The success rate of this text message is through the roof. As long as your profile is optimized correctly, you’re going to find this is going to get you responses more often than almost anything else you’ve ever tried.

Better yet. It’s cut and paste.

Most people don’t know about it. Go out there, give it a try, and let me know how it works for you. 

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