Ask the Dating Coach Blog

Adam Lyons Dating Advice

How To Schedule a Date Via Text Message

4 min read
how to schedule a date via text message

Let’s say you meet somebody in person and everything’s going great. You’ve got their phone number. You want to organize a date, but you just don’t know how to schedule a date via text message. 

It’s actually incredibly easy to do. One of the key points is you need to be excited about something that’s happening. Now, what I like to use are the adverts that constantly populate all over social media.

Most of you have probably seen things like the musicals by candlelight. These weird ads pop up absolutely everywhere, especially if you’re in the Austin, Texas area. There will be these local date suggestions that pop up as ads where a company is spending money to show it off. Maybe there’s an art gallery one. 

Let Marketing Do The Work For You

What’s great about this is the ad is doing the work for you by selling you on the event. You can be excited about it. And in a text message, you can say to somebody:

Oh my God, have you seen the ad for [whatever activities that you think they may want to do that you also want to do]?

 Chances are they’re going to have seen it as well. And they go:

Yeah, my social media feed is packed with ads for it.

So at this point we’ve got a conversation on the date possibility, and we know that we want to try it. I ask:

Well, have you ever wanted to go? 

We’re not leading with “we should go sometime.” We’re just trying to find out their interests. Now, if they don’t want to go, you can say:

No problem. I was just curious. 

It’s ok to shift focus if they’re not interested

And then we can shift the conversation and keep going. And then later on, we can bring up another one and try again. Chances are, if the ads are working correctly and it’s a really cool ad, and you’ve learned enough about them to know that this is something they like, they’re likely to say, yes. You can say: 

Oh my God, yes, I’ve always wanted to go too. 

And that’s when I say I’ve always wanted to go too. 

I’m thinking about [a specific date at some point soon] and going, do you want to come with me now?

This is really important. I’m not saying we should go together. I’m saying I’m going to go and then I invite the other person along. 

You Should Know The Things You Like and Make The Invite To Be Attractive

This is one of the most attractive things you can do, because you’ll make it clear that you are going to take this action. Whether they come with you or not is irrelevant, but you’re inviting them now. 

That’s good because if they don’t come with you, you can invite somebody else. You can go to the activity anyway. And if you follow some of my other texting advice, you’ll know that one of the things I suggest doing is taking private pictures of you doing cool things. Rather than putting them on social media, I’ll send them to people and be like: 

Oh my God, it was so fun. You totally missed out. 

This creates fear of missing out and better yet, now they recognize that they were invited first.

If they don’t go you’re going with someone else…

If they don’t go, you’re going to go with somebody else. Now you could go with someone and not end up dating them. But if you end up going with, you know, somebody who is quite attractive and you hang out with them and they just happen to be into the picture whether you’re dating them or not, you might create that fear of missing out. 

We’re not going for jealousy. 

We just want to make them recognize that you went out with somebody that was really cool, fun, and attractive. And they could have been that person. If they’ve just said, yes, that’s right. Fear of missing out actually makes them much more likely to want to come out on the next one. And this is great because for all they know the person that’s in that picture with you could be your cousin or just a close friend.

It’s awesome. It still triggers that fear of missing out and you know that you’ve done it, right? If they say:

Who are you out with?

That means you really nailed it. This is a great way of getting somebody to, if not going out on the first one, definitely coming out in the second one. Typically if you follow this correctly, and you’ve picked it, they’ll usually say yes the first time round. 

Have you used this strategy to schedule a first date via text message? Let me know how it’s worked out for you.

Now, watch Adam show you how to schedule a date via text message.

Did you know all of Adam’s posts about dating are free to read in the archive?

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