Here’s how to stop a text conversation from completely dying.
Look, sometimes you’re going to be texting with somebody and you’re trying to play it safe and the conversation kind of just goes stale. It’s not really going anywhere. And you’re not sure whe, there’s something you need to learn. We have to understand personality types.
There are essentially many different types of personalities, but each person is going to favor one type of conversation. You have two types of conversation.
Some people like what I call a rapport-based conversation, which is a very surface level, very friendly, not sexually explicit conversation. Other people like more sexual conversation or a breaking rapport conversation, which has a lot more flirtation and a lot more adult rated content. The problem is when you text with somebody, you don’t know which ones to do.
How to have a rapport-based conversation
Initially when you speak to somebody, you want to have a rapport-based conversation. You want to do the very normal conversation asking things like: what do you do for fun? What are your goals three years from now? You want to have those kinds of conversations with somebody, but there is a chance that that conversation is boring the hell out of the other person. And you need to be able to fix it if that happens.
One great way to do this is to have a secondary conversation going on in parenthesis. So what I’ll do is I will be having a regular conversation. If I know that the other person isn’t really responding or I’m getting short answers, then in parenthesis, I’m going to write something darker or more thought provoking.
(Have you ever had a situation that makes you just want to go somewhere and scream?)
Now, this is a very different kind of conversation. It’s a very emotionally raw conversation. What’s great about that is you can then see which one they respond to.
A good example might be if someone says:
I’m hanging out with my friends today.
How I respond to stop a text conversation from completely dying
Oh, that’s so fun. I’ve got a whole bunch of friends. We’re going to go bounce to some arcades later on and maybe hit up a bar.
And then in parentheses, I’m going to write:
(But more importantly, have you ever had a situation that makes you just want to go somewhere and scream?)
It’s such a very different conversation. It doesn’t fit in what’s going on, which is why we put it in parentheses. What’s great about this is we can then see which part(s) she responds to.
If the conversation’s going to go dead, you’re going to find that they can respond to the conversation and the parentheses.
(Oh my God. Yes, I absolutely have.)
The emotionally charged conversation
And now we’re going to have a much more emotionally charged conversation. She might ask what happened, which could lead to a more emotional conversation about work drama. This type of conversation is usually a lot more fun for somebody who’s getting bored of a regular situation
On the other hand, you might send that message and they completely ignore it. If that happens, we know that they don’t want to have that emotionally charged conversation and we can just stick to having the much more normal rapport-based conversation.
This is one of the easiest ways to fix a conversation that’s gone bad. And inside those parentheses, depending on how connected you are to the person, you can discuss all sorts of emotionally charged things.
The best parentheses conversations are edgy
There’s all sorts of different variants that we can put in there, but the whole purpose is to shift the conversation into a different topic that’s a little bit more edgy. One of my favorites to write with somebody in parentheses is:
(but more importantly, are you comfortable with uncomfortable conversations or do you pause or do you prefer having the same mundane conversations that everybody typically does?)
So once again, it’s an invitation to take the conversation somewhere else.
Any of these work really well, but you’re going to find that if the conversation is boring or stalling, it’s probably because they’re getting bored and the parentheses conversation can really fix it. Give it a try and let me know how it works for you.
Now, watch as Adam Lyons breaks down exactly how to stop a conversation from dying completely
You know how to stop the conversation from completely dying… but do you know how the best way to start a conversation on a dating app?