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Adam Lyons Dating Advice

How to Stop Arguing on Texts: This Text Message Can End Any Argument

4 min read
how to stop arguing on texts

This is how you stop arguing on texts all day…

We’ve all been in that situation when there’s somebody that you really care about and you’re madly in love with them. As a natural course of your relationship, a large amount of your communication takes place in text messages, including disagreements. And for some reason, you’re arguing, and having some kind of horrific argument and it doesn’t seem to end. 

You’re fired up. 

They’re fired up. 

You’ve traded some crosswords with each other. 

You’re frustrated you get these awkward silences that turn up and you’re so mad, but all you want to do is reach out to them and hold them and fix it. 

I’m going to give you a text message that can end almost any argument. 

If it won’t end the text message argument outright, it will at least alleviate the situation into a place where you guys can work towards solving the problem. 

Consider Human Communication Methods

The key is to understand that humans communicate in multiple different ways. 

We communicate verbally.

We also communicate non-verbally and it’s very possible for me to be saying nice things to you while physically being angry with you and vice versa.

I can physically be really nice, but the things I say might not be very nice, right? We all know that this is a capability. Once we add in mobile phones, we get an additional layer of communication. I found that whenever you’re having an argument with somebody, you can actually use the phone to add another verbal communication-based conversation that can completely alleviate drama, stress, anger, and end an argument in the real world. 

End the Text Message Argument with This Statement

Here’s what I’ll typically do when I’m arguing with somebody. If I find myself in this situation and I want to fix it. I’m going to send them the following text message.

You’ll have to tweak it for each argument as you can’t always use the same thing with the same person word for word, but this is what you say:

Just so you know, I love you truly. I know this is difficult right now, but I love you.

We’re going to put in capitals:


What’s great about this is I didn’t apologize. I didn’t focus on the argument or try to get in any pot shots or attack them. I’m reinforcing the most important thing, which is that I love them. And I want to fix this. I’m not telling them they need to fix it. There’s no blame here. So I’m not accepting blame and I’m not blaming them. I’m just saying that I want to work to fix this.

How to Move Past the Argument

Now what this is going to do is it’s going to open up a second line of dialogue. Now, some people are gonna react badly to this and they’ll be like, I can’t believe you texted me. You know, I want to talk it out, which is great because now they want to talk it out to fix it. Some people are gonna appreciate it. And they’re gonna write back:

You know what? I love you too. And I want to fix it too. 

And the minute that happens, all the arguments are completely dissipated. Now verbally, you can look at them and you can repeat the same thing. 

I do love you. And I do want to fix it. 

One of the key components to make a relationship work is to remember, it’s supposed to be the two of you against the problem, not the two of you arguing over the problem.

how to stop arguing

This text message can bring that together. It can remind the other person and you that you do love each other and you both want to fix it. When two minds are tackling a problem together with a resolution to solve it, it is a lot easier to make that problem go away. 

Try this text message out the next time you have an argument with somebody; it works. Even if you’re not in a relationship; if you’re talking to a family member or a close friend, the same kind of message can work. And you’ll be shocked at how well it works, but you have to be mature about it. Once that message gets sent, you need to come out of the argument and you need to be ready to actually fix it from a much more positive place.

Give this tip a try to de-escalate your arguments over text message and move forward towards fixing your problem. Let me know how it worked for you.

Watch Adam Lyons cover how to stop arguing in your texts in detail here:

Now that you know how to stop the arguing over texts. Read this article on the two texts you need to send to develop your relationship!

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