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Adam Lyons Dating Advice

How To Text Someone Back After Being Ghosted

5 min read
how to text someone after they've ghosted you

We’re about to talk about how to text someone back after being ghosted, or you know, bringing someone back from the dead. Well, they’re probably not actually dead, but it will get them to text you after you’ve been ghosted. I have worked on a bunch of different text messages that are all designed to get somebody to respond if they haven’t responded and I’ve learned that the more ridiculous the text message, the more likely they are to respond. That’s the key to get someone to text you back after they ghosted you.

If you’re telling them that you haven’t heard from them, that you miss them, or you just ask what’s going on, people tend to not really respond to those. Alternatively, they might just give the thumbs up. You get that they’re busy, but when your message is ridiculous and kind of funny, you get a really good response from people.

What Text Message Can You Send to Stop Them From Ghosting You?

This is the message I’m going to recommend that you send if you haven’t heard from somebody in a very long time:

Hey, I haven’t heard from you in awhile. And it got me thinking that either you’re really busy with work or you’ve been kidnapped by zombie ninjas. In case it’s the latter and you need rescuing, give me some kind of secret text signal so I can don my karate suit and come and kick ass to rescue you. (Seriously though, I hope everything’s okay with you. Ping me back.) 

This message is hysterically funny. It’s out there and it really gets somebody to pay attention. Most of the time, if somebody is ghosting, they’re really just not responding due to being busy rather than trying to ignore you. 

The Psychology Behind This Text Message

When they see a long message from you, they’re going to read it because they’re going to feel that, you know, maybe you’re critiquing them or maybe you’re telling them off, or maybe you’re asking them what’s up.

When they realize it’s lighthearted and funny and all you’re really doing is checking in, then that makes them respond. Now, there is a structure to this. If you want to make your own, I’ll break that down for you now. The first message you could do might be:

Hey, I haven’t heard from you in a while. And it got me thinking you might be really busy with work. 

So that first message is like the normal answer. And we want that first so that it’s not just completely out of left field. Also, want to show that we’re not insane, right? Don’t start with a weird one. You want to start with a forgiving assumption that they’re busy. Then you say “or…” and then it’s followed by this crazy scenario about why they can’t possibly text you back.

The Crazy Scenario Text That Gets A Response

I’ve used things like you’ve been eaten by alligators and you’re currently trying to crawl out of the sewer. Maybe they’re abducted by aliens and you’re currently living on Pluto. Like I’ve come up with all sorts of weird ones, but in the weird scenario, it always ends up with them needing rescuing.

Create a funny scenario about how you’re going to rescue them. 

If you need me to invent time, travel to come back to the prehistoric age, to rescue from those velociraptors, let me know and I’ll do it.

It’s just this obscurely crazy, wild stuff, but it’s something you can fix with an equally bizarre solution.

Lastly, you always say in parentheses:

(No, but seriously though, I hope everything’s okay.)

The text checkin that’s subtle and funny is key

Now this is cool because this is a check-in because sometimes the reason someone doesn’t respond involves something difficult in their life, such as an illness, a job loss, or the death of a parent.

I had somebody not respond to me for like nine months and I got really concerned about them. Anytime I messaged them “Hey, are you okay?” They just didn’t respond. And I got really, really concerned when they eventually replied. It turned out, they were dealing with one of their family members who had a case of cancer and they themselves had some obscure disease that came out of nowhere and they’d basically been in the hospital for nine months. Sometimes if someone doesn’t respond to you, it’s for a real serious reason. You’re going to feel like an absolute asshole if you’re asking why they are ignoring you. 

Keep the text funny and light hearted

Rather than do that, this kind of message is a lot funnier and lighthearted, and also a way to make it so they are likely to respond in the future. 

Eventually when my friend did respond (and this is a friend, not someone I’m dating), they said:

Hey, just so you know your messages were really funny. I saw them, was dealing with so much, didn’t even know how to tell you, etc. And I was keeping the whole situation secret. 

It showed they wanted to respond, but they also wanted to keep things private and they were worried if they did respond and tell me everything. 

You can send that message and it will fix almost any ghosting situation. You’re welcome.

Let me know how this message works out for you and what types of outrageous scenarios and rescues you come up with!

Watch Adam Lyons explain how to text someone back after being ghosted!

Now that you’ve brought the ghost conversation back from the dead – do you know how to turn someone on with a text message?

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