Ask the Dating Coach Blog

Adam Lyons Dating Advice

Meeting People in Los Angeles

4 min read

Are you tailoring your game to the city you live in?

Of course you are… (Hint: say, “yes” and read on)

I’ll pretend you’re nodding your head while giving me the Captain Obvious face as you pick up this golden nugget real quick.

Every city has it’s own culture and idiosyncrasies…so it must be approached in a certain way to yield its best fruits. It’s just as you would speak to a woman/man at a bar. If you want it to be a successful interaction, then you must adjust your conversation and manner to cater to the recipient.

Let’s use my birth city as an example! Yes, though infamous in London, Adam Lyons lived in Los Angeles for many years… We used to run events out there all the time!

THE NUMBER ONE thing to keep in mind when meeting people in Los Angeles is YOU MUST UNDERSTAND the city’s primary personality-type.

One of my favorite psychology studies identified that people fall into 3 general personality preferences (comment below for the article). People can be comfort-seekers, excitement-seekers, or social-seekers. Everyone displays some element of each at various times and situations, but typically everyone has a dominant preference. It should be no surprise then that people who share a similar presence would congregate in a city that is particularly suited to provide more of the desired flavor – comfort, excitement, or social.


L.A. is definitely a city of social-seekers! The holy land of celebrities and a global entertainment industry is totally built upon being known, being seen, and being recognized. If you’re attempting to attract someone it L.A. it is important that you keep this in mind. Fortunately for you, and me, I find attracting social-seekers to be the easiest! Perhaps because I’ve lived most my life in LA, ATX, & LON… though maybe that’s why I moved to and stayed in those cities…

In any case, social-seekers simply seek people (duh), but lots of them constantly… specifically new people. Therefore, any activity or event that brings a mass of people together where they can be seen living the good life, have fun, and mingle is where you need to be! 

L.A. nightlife is a unique beast for precisely this reason. Obviously, there is no shortage of bars and clubs to socialize in. However, if you want to really kill it, you need to be attending and ideally organizing a more unique and exclusive social event. Pool-party, house party, bbq, picnic, beach day – it doesn’t matter. The key is to create opportunities for others to meet new people on a regular basis. Do this and you will master L.A. and make it love you!

I require all of my private students to start and lead an event catered to their flavor (comfort, excitement, social) preference in their first month of working with me, and help them design it, organize it, and grow it over time.

Now, if being a super-social butterfly is not really your bag, it doesn’t mean that you’re at a complete loss and destined to failure. There are certainly comfort-seekers and excitement-seekers in LA. You definitely can/should lead and attract them by providing what they seek. However, just be aware that you aren’t serving a majority of the population in your area. You are essentially counter-culture (for L.A.) and you will find the most success in sub-culture niches… For example:


There is definitely a sub-culture of excitement-seekers in and around LA. You will find them surfing, hiking, or rock climbing. If this sounds more like your tribe, then you should definitely be attending a weekly event doing an activity like this.


Not what most people think of first for Los Angeles, but locals will know where the coziest comfy places in the city are. L.A.’s comfort-seekers are laying low and chilling in cafes, wine bars, quiet hotel lobbies, public gardens/parks, and occasionally the vineyards that are only a short drive away.


Later today I have a call with one of my private students on leaving his hometown and moving across the country to a brand new city. It may seem crazy, because your whole life and work is “here”, but if this city isn’t your vibe, packing up and moving to a city that is in line with your personality flavor preference is the smartest thing you can do! My biggest student transformation have come from doing precisely this!

Hope this helps!

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