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Adam Lyons Dating Advice

Why You Get Left On Read And What You Can Do About It

6 min read
Why You Get Left On Read

Here’s why you get left on red and what you can do about it. Sometimes you’ll be texting somebody and the conversation just dies. You don’t know why, but you send them a message and you can see that read receipt. You know that they read it, but they didn’t reply. 

One of the main reasons why somebody leaves you on read and doesn’t reply is because they’ve actually got something else going on in their life that’s far more interesting. I know I’ve absolutely been in a scenario where I see a message, but maybe I’m in a movie or maybe I’m hanging out with some friends and for whatever reason, I don’t have the time to put a proper response in straight away. It’s a pretty common scenario.

The other person’s going to be ignored, wondering why I’m ignoring them. I didn’t mean to ignore them. I’m just too busy, doing awesome things in my life. 

Your Life is Awesome: Show Them

Now, one of the easiest ways to get somebody to want to respond to you is to make sure that they recognize that your life is actually better than theirs. One of the main reasons that humans kind of like dating and trying to meet other people is to elevate their own lives. 

Let’s be real. Most people are boring. They watch Netflix and do the same stuff that everyone else does. If you are interesting, and actually doing fun things, then you’re far more likely to get people to want to interact with you. They might be doing something interesting in their life, but they don’t want to forget that response because they know that your life is that much more interesting and they’ll want to be part of it.

Talk About Fun Events in Your Life to stop getting left on read

I do a number of things to make sure that people don’t just leave me on read. The first thing I do is I host and participate in cool, fun events on a regular basis. Now these events range from I have dinner parties at my house where I invite cool people. You should tell people that you host marketing events or get people together to do business stuff. I host game nights, strip club nights, or we go to the strip club. I basically host as many different fun activity nights. There’s a dessert night. We’ll go to a restaurant and eat some fun desserts. There’s all sorts of different activities that I’ll organize. 

The best part about it is I don’t put these on social media. (Sometimes I do, but not always.) 

One thing I like to do is save pictures specifically to send to people that I’m text message friends with.

What’s great about this is when I send those text messages to them, they’re like: “Oh, wow. I didn’t know you did this. I didn’t see it on social media.” And then I get to explain that it’s an invite-only kind of thing. So now they recognize there’s like this cool other side to me that no one else gets to know about, but they do because we’re texting. That means if they stop texting me, all that goes away. 

The One To One Ratio is Key

If you’ve listened to or read any of my other content, you’ll know that I go on a one-to-one ratio of texting somebody, which means if they don’t keep up the conversation, they’ll have recognized that I basically don’t respond ever again. So they have to keep it up. And if I’m showing cool pictures, like for example, when I learned basic falconry the other day, they’ll miss out if they don’t stay in touch.

I had a giant bird on my hand that I was sending out, and I had owls and all sorts of cool stuff. That’s the kind of thing that people are like, “Wow, that’s amazing. How do I get to do that?” I let them know that sometimes I want my friends to come and do it with me. They know that there’s all these cool activities that they could do, but they don’t always end up on my social media. If they’re in my text message friends list, they feel special. Note, I do this in one-on-one text messages and not group messages because it makes the individual person feel special and get the individual attention they deserve. 

This method triggers FOMO, or fear of missing out. In essence, if they don’t respond, if they don’t stay in touch with me, they won’t be able to have access to all that cool stuff that I do.

Now, the reality is anyone can do these kinds of cool things. You’ve just got to Google these fun activities and you’ll find them. But most people aren’t motivated enough to do it themselves. So by being someone who actually does it, you can drag other people with you and it helps them do fun things and they feel better as well. 

One Key Insight Is To Trigger FOMO In Others

I will send these things out via SMS to trigger this fear of missing out. And I’m just looking for the person to say, “Oh my God, I wish I could do that, too.” And then I’ll say to them, “You should come and do it with me sometime.” And that leads to a great way to actually get them to come out on a date with me to do that, to fix that situation. 

You can do a message like this by cutting and pasting it to the people you’re interested in dating every single week. Remember: it needs to be a one-on-one conversation, not a group text.

You’re going to end up with people coming back and communicating with you. And although I teach people that you should stick to a ratio of one-to-one text message, the only exception would be this one. So once a week, or once a month, I will send a picture or an activity of me doing something cool. And I’ll be like, “Oh my God, I just got to do this. Just wanted to share it with you. Hope you’re well.” 

The One Prompt To Share Outside of The 1-1 Ratio

That will be the only prompt I would ever do outside of sticking to the one-to-one ratio. And if somebody doesn’t respond to that one, then I’ll probably not message them ever again. But it’s a great way of bringing somebody back from the dead if they haven’t communicated with you and you want to raise the ghosts, so to speak.

Over time, peoples’ situations change. Maybe they were in a relationship for a while, but now they’re single and your FOMO message is a reminder for them to reach out and think about all the fun activities they could be doing with you.

Give it a try and let me know how it works out!

Watch Adam Lyons explain exactly why you get left on read…

Now that you know why you get left on read you should read this post on how to stop a text conversation from dying…

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